Monthly Archives: April 2014

Oh, The Places I’ll Go: Ireland


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The first off in my “Oh, The Places I’ll Go” Series is Ireland.

I have always wanted to go to Ireland. My ancestors were Irish and I heard stories from my family about how they came over, the struggles they face, and I was inspired.

It makes sense that I have always been drawn to Ireland as a result.

Ireland is one of the places I want to travel to before I get married. These are listed in no particular order:

  1. Giants’s Causeway
    Photo CreditLook how cool this natural structure is. According to Legend it is the remain of a causeway that was created by giants. Hence the name.
  2. Trinity College Library
    trinity college old library
    Photo CreditWhy do I want to go to a library? If you don’t know by now I love libraries.Not only does this library contain some old texts and just happens to contain the Book of Kells. I also happen to love the architecture of the library of kells
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  3. St. Patrick’s Cathedral
    st patricks church dublin
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    Even if I wasn’t Catholic I would have to make a stop at this church in Dublin. It is a beautiful cathedral and would want to attend at least one mass service during my time in Ireland.
  4. Powerscout Estate
    Photo CreditI remember when I first saw this estate in The Count of Monte Cristo with Jim Caviezel, I fell in love with this house and I wanted to buy it. When I learned that is place was in Ireland I thought, ‘Surely this place will be mine.’ Than I learned it is now a shopping/dining/wedding reception venue.I can still dream of buying this place.Until than I would want to visit this place, heck I would love to have a wedding reception here.
  5. Cliffs of Moher
    cliffs of moher
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    Who wouldn’t want to visit these beautiful cliffs.
  6. Blarney Castle
    blarney castle
    Photo CreditThis is a must see in Ireland. I want to go to the castle, kiss the stone, and hopefully get the gift of gab as a result.
  7. Ireland Potato Famine Memorial  in Dublin
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    With my Irish heritage and being a lover of history, I feel I should visit this small memorial when I go to Ireland.
  8. Sean’s Pub, The Oldest Pub in Ireland
    Sean's Pub The Oldest Pub in Ireland
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    It is the oldest Pub in Ireland, why wouldn’t I want to go? I even found their website.
  9. Woodenbridge Hotel, the oldest Hotel in Ireland
    Photo CreditI just think it looks pretty. That is why I want to visit it honestly, heck I would love to spend a night there.
  10. St. Patrick Festival in Dublin
    1363542896-st-patricks-festival-parade-held-in-dublin_1881983At least once in my life I want to go to what looks like a an awesome party!500000-pack-Dublin-for-St-Patricks-Day-TM15LJ28-x-large

Where would you want to go in Ireland? Let me know in the comments below?



A Confession: A Fear of Failure


This word brings more fear and dread than anything else.

Yes, I have a fear of failure. I know why I have a fear of failure. I know the root of it, I understand it. Thanks to many hours of crying, self-reflection, and seeing a therapist (Yes, I have one).

The only problem is trying to fix it.

I can tell you that for the longest time, I didn’t realize that I had a fear of failure. I thought I was just driven and an overly concerned individual when it comes to the idea of success.

Aren’t we all?

Over the past few months I have come to realize that my fear of failure and the fear of messing up is starting to inhibit my life. I have trouble turning in assignments in on time. I have trouble studying without the fear of not knowing the material and feeling like a failure just because I don’t know the material.

Trust me, I know how ridiculous this sounds.

I understand that from a logical point of view that this is silly. I know logically that just because I mess up, make mistakes; it does not define me as a person.

Trying telling that emotional part of me though. Not as easy for it to get through.

I am not sure how this process will be. I am only just beginning. I do know that I can’t keep living like this, it is affecting everything I am doing: my schooling, my work, my dreams, my goals, etc.

One shouldn’t have to live in fear of failure.

I really hope that I will be able to overcome this fear and tell it talk to the hand for I am to busy to be afraid of it. It won’t be easy, it may take a long time. I am already making progress by starting on facing it.

Do you have a fear of failure? What are you afraid of failing at the most? Let me know in the comments below!



There are no “Do Overs” in Life


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You know what I love about video games? Is that if I really mess up I can erase the game I was playing and start all over again. With the knowledge I have learned I can do better the second, third time around that I play.

Unfortunately life is not life that.

Even if you believe in reincarnation (from Buddhist standpoint), the only thing that reincarnates is your Karma, not memories from your past life. So even though you have a chance to live life all over again. The circumstances could be different, you could end up being an animal.

Life isn’t a video game. You can’t turn the console off, turn it back on, and start the game all over again with the exact same parameters.

If you blow all your money in real life, you can’t call do over, look to the heavens and expect someone to bail you out (we aren’t banks after all). If you screw all during high school, you can’t go to your principal and ask for a do over so that way you have a better chance to get into college.

When you mess up in life, you don’t have a chance to start all over again. You can’t, it is impossible. You have to start from where you are currently at and change your behavior.

I know this is what some people mean when they say do over. There are those people out there that believe that no matter what happens, they can start all over again. That by ignoring what happened, the actions the committed, the people they hurt, and the words they said makes it as though nothing ever happened.

That is not the case.

Yes, you can move on from your current situation and try to better yourself. I am all for that! Still, you can’t ignore your past mistakes, you must learn from them, and realize that they are still a part of you. You can’t act as though as it never happened.

Unfortunately I have known a few people (my age and older) that believe “Do Overs” will erase their past mistakes and make everything better.

I hate to break it to you, but it won’t.


I Have Registered for Classes for Hogwarts!

For those that haven’t heard the news Hogwarts is now offering classes online.

hogwarts 1

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I can officially tell you I am a first year student at Hogwarts!

I am a Ravenclaw. They do not sort you into the House, you choose your house. I have no idea why they did this, but if you have been sorted on Pottermore, you can use that as a frame of reference. I am a Ravenclaw on Pottermore, so now I am a Ravenclaw on Hogwarts is here!

I am have signed up for all the classes. I am in Astronomy, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, History of Magic, Potions, and Transfiguration. Class Lessons are already up and so is the homework. First time in my life I have been excited for homework.

One of the  main reasons I am really excited is that I am actually writing a fanfiction story that takes place in the Harry Potter universe. To be honest, I have been working on it for a really long time. I have been gathering notes, writing scenes, etc. It’s not done yet, I mean, I plan on rewriting all 7 years. I have my reasons.  Over time though life happened and I sadly it has been gathering dust on my computer.

Now I have motivation to start it again!

The other reason why I am excited is because I love Harry Potter. I grew up with it. I started reading the books when I was 11 (I started the series a little late in comparison to my others) . I saw the movies when they first came out. I followed mugglenet, hp-lexicon, J.K. Rowlings official website, etc. For me this helps me reexplore my love of Harry Potter.

If you are interested in being friends on Pottermore or Hogwarts is here I would love to be friends.

On Pottermore I am AccioDream15354. On I am cmvanek

Are you on either site? Have you registered for classes? Let me know in the comments below!


Oh The Places I’ll Go!

dr-seuss oh the places you'll go

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I have always wanted to Travel. It really doesn’t matter where. Honestly I want to travel everywhere. The world is so big, the universe is so big, and I want to explore it.

I of course want to go to all the big countries in Europe. I want to see countries in East Asia, and I want to explore Africa. There are many states within the United States I have yet to visit, all with a history of their own.

For me this will be a series focusing on places I want to Travel. This post will be updated frequently.

I am very excited to start this!

Inspired by The Daily Post

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Torn Between Fame & Obscurity


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You would think with a girl who has an instagram account, a Facebook page,a reddit account, a twitter, a tumblr, a pinterest account,  a youtube account (I’m debating about vlogging- that is a post for another day), and even a luvocracy; you would think I wouldn’t be torn about becoming famous.

But I am.

When I attended Pellissippi State I was heavily involved with the campus and knew a lot of the people there, or knew people or knew people. I was part of Gnosis for a while ( a service learning organization) , Imaginary Gardens (a great literary magazine),  I worked in Student Life, as well as in New Student Orientation, and I was a representative on a couple of student committees. Even though it was a small campus I would usually still see someone waving to me, asking me questions, or just generally talking to me. It felt great, it felt awesome, and I felt important.  I remember my first two semesters at Pellissippi State and although I knew a few people, it wasn’t nearly as many people that I did by the time I left. However by the time I left, I desired obscurity.


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It sounds terrible, but I got tired of running into people I knew everywhere I went. I really am an introvert, I just enjoy my own time and being in my own thoughts.  Since I have started classes at University of Tennessee I am lucky if I run into the people I know a few times a week. The only reasons why I seem some of my hall mates is because I sometimes I have breakfast or dinner with them, even than it all depends on how tired I am or how much homework I have to do.

At the same time I do miss that feeling that comes with it. The feeling of being recognized. The feeling of, ‘Hey I know you exist. It’s good to see that you are still existing.’ I like that feeling.

I know being recognized on a college campus is nowhere near the level of fame say, youtube famous, Hollywood famous, or J.K. Rowling famous. But I hope you get an idea. While I love being recognized, there are times when I just want to be left in peace.

I do enjoy getting involved and when I get involved, I tend to put all my effort into whatever I am doing (as long as I want to do it), and I usually do a pretty awesome job. I have trouble not putting 100% into whatever I set my mind to. Including this blog.

I also want to eventually be a published author. While I know it is unrealistic, I kind of hope to be the American J.K. Rowling. If I can be bigger than her, great.

I know it sounds so silly, but I can dream.

Well as a result between wanting to be a famous author, but wanting to enjoy the perks of being obscure and an introvert I’m torn. I have no idea which I would rather want more.

The only solution I have come up with is that I would have to become so famous I will have the ability to be a hermit whenever I please. I can have a cabin or cottage to which I can escape to constantly. I will have a secret hidaway where on family and close friends can be with me if I desire.

Would you want to be famous? What for? Let me know in the comments below!

Inspired by The Daily Post





Only the Dark Side Works in Absolutes


Recently I got into a discussion online and of course it dealt with politics. What did the article have to deal with? It had to deal with whether or not President Obama was born in this country. Even though I am against his policies, I am tired about hearing this issue discussed. I commented on the article basically saying no matter what happens, whatever the truth it will be found out eventually. I never said I believed in one side or the other.

There are bigger issues to focus on, like the economy and our national security.

Well I got some surprising reactions from people on facebook who never talk to me. I blocked out the individuals picture and name involved of course.

Absolutes 1

Absolutes 2


I can understand with my first comment they could believe I thought there was some whole conspiracy (which by the way I love conspiracy theories). I do agree also that the title is misleading (every news source no matter what side has done this at one point) However, I was disheartened as the discussion went on. Right away the term hardcore conservative propaganda is used which just made me think , ‘oh great it is going to be “are you with us or against us” kind of deal’. I ignored that in the beginning, but in the end I try to make a point by saying that people can go and respond to them right back at them that they are influenced by a media which has a heavy liberal slant. Propaganda exists on both sides, ignoring that is like ignoring the fact that there are corrupt politicians in both parties.

Instead of continuing the discussion, the individual says there is no point in having this discussion. While the other declines to respond.

What? Really? Come on now.

Granted my phrasing may be confusing, but it was also at 1 in the morning and I have been writing lots of papers within the past 2 weeks. So I am starting to burn out a little.

To sum up what I was trying to say:

  • History will prove who was right in the end.
  • It may take a long time for that to happen.
  • It may never happen.
  • There will be people who believe that Obama was US born.
  • There will be people who will change their minds on whether or not he was US born.
  • Others will never change their minds.
  • We will learn more about President Obama’s private life in at least 30-50 years.
  • It will probably take longer because we usually don’t learn a lot about our presidents full history until they are dead usually.
  • Even then we will never know their full history.
  • Every president has secrets (everyone has secrets so it should be no surprise if a president has one or two).
  • Both sides have an agenda, therefore both sides create propaganda to fulfill their agenda.
  • Politicians have an agenda.
  • Just because I am not condemning them (birthers in this case), doesn’t mean I condemn you( those that are against birthers).

Just because I am not condemning these people, doesn’t mean I am with/for them. I am just trying to think constructively about it. I prefer and want to hear both sides of any issue. Even conspiracy theories. I find them fascinating/ interesting regardless if they are true or not.

I question everything, I observe, and I listen; it was just how I was raised. I try not to take anything at face value.

In my opinion, rarely is anything black and white. With this whole conversation if felt very much as though I was being questioned as to whether or not I was with the birthers or if I was against them. I’m just here on the matter, I am more over this topic at this point.  For either way, whatever the case may be, we the human race will eventually learn whatever the truth is. Seemed very absolute to me how this conversation felt and than I remembered….

Only the dark side deals in absolutes (I know it is supposed to be siths, but my mind paraphrased it).

It is really sad how politics is very much, you are either with me or against me mentality. If you believe aspect “A” than you must believe in aspect “B” as well, therefore you are against me because I don’t agree with either aspects.  That is generally how you are portrayed online, on tv, movies, etc. so it must be true!

If you believe in abortion, you must hate Christians. If you don’t believe in abortion, you must hate women. If you are for a strict illegal immigration policy, you must hate immigrants. If you believe we should go to war, you must love war. If you don’t believe in this war, you hate our troops.  If you believe in business, you must hate people.  If you are republican you must believe in every single thing that the republican party believe. If you are democrat, you must believe every singe thing the democrat part believes.

On and on and on it goes. When will it end? Nobody knows.

Aren’t these absolutes kind of ridiculous. I am not saying there aren’t people who aren’t like this. Stereotypes exist because there are people out there that do fit the stereotype.  At the same time though, there are people out there who don’t fit the stereotype.

I know shocking right?

Below I have just wanted to continue to show stereotyping at its finest.

R=Republican /// D= Democrat

R- “You must be a liberal nutcase”

L-“Well you are an uncompassionate conservative”


R-“Man hater”

L- “Misogynist Pig.”


R- “You hate anyone that is Christian:

L- “You hate anyone that isn’t Christian.”


R- “I don’t agree with Obama on this issue.”

L- “You are just saying that because you are a republican and a racist!”

R- ” I am against his policies. Stop trying to make this about race. ”

L- “I’m just pointing out the truth, which the truth is you are a racist.


R- “We should be able to drill for oil.”

L- “No we should only use renewable resources. You will destroy the plant.”

R- “You want us to not be able to rely on ourselves. I want us to be independent”

L- “I want to save the planet. You want to abuse it.”


L- “Fox News is biased and promotes hate.”

R- ” No, it is fair and balanced. A majority of News media has a liberal bias and hates conservatives.”

L- “No, the other news stations give the facts, especially NPR. Only Fox news is bias. That and Rush Limbaugh.”


R- “Hillary would be a terrible president.”

L- “you are saying that because you are sexist.”

R- “No, she has no real political experience, besides being married to Bill Clinton.”

L- ” She has had tons of experience. Sexist!”


R- “You are close minded and have been brainwashed by the media.”

L- ” I think you are the one that is close minded and has been brainwashed by the media.”

R- “You don’t listen to the facts.”

L- “You don’t listen to the facts.”


It seems to never end. Kind of annoying isn’t it.

What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments below