I’m going back to the time when I was in high school. I was in a relationship that should never have been. My parents didn’t like him (for good reason), my best friend was always concerned for me, and he was emotionally abusive (calling me names: fat, saying that had love handles, that I was gaining weight, that I was smart, but not that smart, saying that he loved me and only I understood him, getting upset when I was around other guys, etc.) and somewhat sexually abusive to me and pressuring me to do some things I didn’t want to, making me feel guilty or a bad girlfriend.
Don’t worry, there’s nothing triggering or super scary in this story (thankfully). I’m just setting it up, so you can understand why this was the worst valentine’s day ever for me.
The day before we had another huge argument/fight at school after school. I don’t even know what about anymore, I think it may have been over another girl or something. Or how he thought she was hot and that I don’t fit the definition of “hot.” I felt hurt/ offended by what he said (rightly so). We made up though and he said he was looking forward to spending Valentine’s Day with me and would get me something special.
A couple things to keep in mind throughout this whole post:
- this was my first time in a relationship for Valentine’s Day
- he had a job and I didn’t
- he didn’t really have any expenses
- I have been dating this guy for about 5 months, although I have known him longer, who manipulates me emotionally, abuses me emotionally and sexually.
Even after this fight I had bought for him a card and a chocolate reese’s heart, yes I still remember to this day and I will tell you why later. You are probably thinking this in regards to me getting him something and still staying with him after he said I wasn’t hot and all the other bad shit he has said about me to my face.
And you are right, it was messed up. My head wasn’t in the right place. I know that.
Now, this all occurred February 13.
Next Day Valentine’s Day Around 3-4 in the morning.
Be warned, the story gets gross from here on out. You have been warned.