Category Archives: Relationships

My Thoughts To Roosh V’s “36 Things Wrong with American Women”


So I decided to watch this, because it’s important to research the person you want to criticize instead of just blindly following the crowd. Be warned, I will use curses in this post. Also if you are a thinking human being, you will probably need a drink to get through this list.

I am really not kidding, I wish I wasn’t on all the meds I was on, otherwise I would have had a couple of drinks myself. I had to take breaks, it is just amazing to me that people like this still exist. There is so much stupid in on video, your brain will be dumbfounded.

For those that don’t know who Roosh V. is, I will introduce you to him before we start with the list. He is first generation American (Armenian and Iranian). To quote this guy on youtube

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Here is the video:

Here is the Video description

I made this video so American women can understand all the things they do wrong. I hope that they will embark on a journey of self-improvement after watching it.

I even wrote down the list for those who don’t want to watch it, are hard of hearing or deaf because the captions for it suck.  I will respond to each statement after I finished this list. My thoughts in this are italicized. The lines show where Roosh’s statements begin, I skipped the intro (nothing stood out in the intro), but kept the ending in for reasons you will see.


Roosh’s “36 Things Wrong with American Women” 

  1. They’re fat. Fat girls are simply unattractive. So, why should you waste time dating a fat girl?
  2. They’re constantly glued to their smartphone. These girls are addicted to an electronic device and are less capable of human interaction.
  3. They cut their hair short. They are so lazy to maintain long hair they make themselves ugly on purpose.
  4. They’re more impressed with the crappy DJ or instagram celebrity than a doctor who saves lives.
  5. They think being overly sarcastic is a quality that men love. Wrong, being sarcastic is rude and doesn’t show that you have a good sense of humor.
  6. They listen to stupid websites when it comes to learning how to please men.
  7. They don’t know how to cook. They’re idea of cooking is using a microwave or preparing macaroni and cheese and some women don’t even know how to do that.
  8. They wear flips flops when they are not at the beach, not at the pool or not in their house.  Flip flops are the laziest footwear you can put on and it screams to the world you simply don’t care.
  9. They have condoms in their dresser because they are fully prepared to sleep with random men. A man only wants a girl to be a slut for himself, not the entire town.
  10. They idolize drug addicted celebrities aiming to mimic their dead brain behavior. The role model for todays girl is Kim Kardashian, not a woman who actually achieved things in life.
  11. They acquire pets instead of putting in the work to land a quality man. When a woman gives up in life she buys a dog, this is sad.
  12. They don’t know how to be sexy and feminine, only trashy and slutty. Modern American women have no idea how to be a lady on the streets.
  13. They have standards way beyond their level of attractiveness. Even an average girl thinks she should land a prince charming.
  14. They think that to have a good job means they are a quality girl and a good catch. Newsflash, guys don’t care about your stupid office job nonprofit gig.
  15. They wear pajamas in public, this is retarded.
  16. They enjoy books like Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey, and The Secret. They are addicted to dead brain entertainment that makes them dumber.
  17. Their idea of travel is going to the beach or France. They have no idea how to use travel to learn about other cultures.
  18. They have too many trashy tattoos. Too many American women these days look like prison convicts.
  19. They are proud to be dating many men at the same time as if they were men themselves. These days women have no shame in hiding the fact they are sluts.
  20. They do and say filthy things in bed, even the first time you have sex with them as if they were an amateur porn actress. You know they are doing that to every other guy as well.
  21. They cockblock their own girlfriends when they are jealous. They can’t have it so their friend meets someone while they don’t.
  22. They make lame excuses for not putting effort into their appearance. It seems like a race to the bottom for every girl to be as homely as possible.
  23. #24 -(wait wheres #23) They always lie the first time you get them in bed saying “I’ve never done this before,” we know that’s a lie, but they continue saying it for every guy they sleep with.
  24. #25- (yeah, I think he skipped a number, misspoke, or can’t count) They confused being a challenge with being whiny and annoying. They have no idea how stupid they look when they give men are hard time for spending time with them.
  25. #26-They watch way too much TV, letting it influence their personalities. When you go on a date with an American girl, you are dating a combination of characters she has seen on television
  26. #27-On the way home from their comfortable office job they take off their work shoes and put on dirty sneakers. They have no idea how much of a slob they look when they do this.
  27. #28- They age their skin prematurely through fake tans. Maybe they will look good this week or next month, but in a few years time they are going to look like a raisin.
  28. #29-They insist on eating pizza, gyro, and other fattening food after a night of binge drinking and then they wonder why they are so fat.
  29. #30-They’re obsessed with cupcakes. An American woman gets satisfaction from eating tiny baked goods.
  30. #31-They care more about maintaining a career than a good home or family. She has made money the most important part of her life more than having kids or a good husband.
  31. #32-They rarely wear high heels, one of the most feminine behaviors that a woman can do.
  32. #33-They think dining out and eating food slathered with butter and salt makes them cultured and they call themselves a foodie while they do it. It just makes them fat instead.
  33. #34- They don’t speak any foreign languages. They think America is the center of the universe.
  34. #35-Their intellectual curiosity doesn’t go beyond the pages of gawker or buzzfeed. To get them to actually learn about the truths of the world is impossible.
  35. And Lastly #36-They drone on and on about the stupidest personal drama and nonsense. Thinking the day to day things they come across are critically important to anyone else

So there you have it, 36 (it’s 35) that are wrong with American women. While no woman of the world is perfect, I find that American women have the most flaws out of all the other foreign women I’ve dated. If you are stuck dating American girls right now, it would be worth your time and energy to see what foreign women have to offer you.


I actually feel physically ill just typing this list up; listening to it over and over again to make sure I got his exact words. My reaction upon listening to this individual and typing up this entire list.


By the way. congratulations. You made it through this asinine list created by a manchild that is upset that women want to be their own person and have a desire for independence.

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That list was painful to type up, for those that didn’t want to watch the video or for those that are hard of hearing or deaf, you are welcome.


Headache starting thanks to this

Now onto my thoughts. I will respond to each individual remark he made with my own. His words will be in italics, my response won’t be.

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My Worst Valentine’s Day Ever (AKA A Sign From God Himself telling me this Relationship was a bad idea)

I’m going back to the time when I was in high school. I was in a relationship that should never have been. My parents didn’t like him (for good reason), my best friend was always concerned for me, and he was emotionally abusive (calling me names: fat, saying that had love handles, that I was gaining weight, that I was smart, but not that smart, saying that he loved me and only I understood him, getting upset when I was around other guys, etc.) and somewhat sexually abusive to me and pressuring me to do some things I didn’t want to, making me feel guilty or a bad girlfriend.


Don’t worry, there’s nothing triggering or super scary in this story (thankfully). I’m just setting it up, so you can understand why this was the worst valentine’s day ever for me.

The day before we had another huge argument/fight at school after school. I don’t even know what about anymore, I think it may have been over another girl or something. Or how he thought she was hot and that I don’t fit the definition of “hot.” I felt hurt/ offended by what he said (rightly so). We made up though and he said he was looking forward to spending Valentine’s Day with me and would get me something special.

A couple things to keep in mind throughout this whole post:

  • this was my first time in a relationship for Valentine’s Day
  • he had a job and I didn’t
  • he didn’t really have any expenses
  • I have been dating this guy for about 5 months, although I have known him longer, who manipulates me emotionally, abuses me emotionally and sexually.

Even after this fight I had bought for him a card and a chocolate reese’s heart, yes I still remember to this day and I will tell you why later. You are probably thinking this in regards to me getting him something and still staying with him after he said I wasn’t hot and all the other bad shit he has said about me to my face.

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And you are right, it was messed up. My head wasn’t in the right place. I know that.

Now, this all occurred February 13.

Next Day Valentine’s Day Around 3-4 in the morning.

Be warned, the story gets gross from here on out. You have been warned.

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50 Classic Stories to Read (Instead of 50 Shades of Grey)

These books are stimulating and there is usually more than just romance in the story. There is this crazy thing called plot and it just happens to be well written too! In fact you might learn something. Some have happy endings, while others are tragic. Either way, you don’t need badly written erotica to learn more about yourself.

A List of Classic Stories that I would read over 50 Shades of Grey any day:

  1. Pride and Prejudice
  2. Persuasion
  3. Northanger Abbey
  4. Emma
  5. Mansfield Park
  6. Sense and Sensibility
  7. Wuthering Heights
  8. Jane Eyre
  9. Romeo and Juliet
  10. Much Ado About Nothing
  11. The Great Gatsby
  12. Les Miserables
  13. Gone with the Wind
  14. Anna Karina
  15. Their Eyes were Watching God
  16. Madam Bovary
  17. Casablanca (it was a play before a movie)
  18. Dangerous Liaisons
  19. Oliver Twist
  20. Fathers and Sons
  21. The Color Purple
  22. Vanity Fair
  23. I, Robot
  24. Growing up Rich
  25. Foundations Trilogy
  26. Lord of the Rings Trilogy
  27. The Hobbit
  28. Of Mice and Men
  29. Tender is the Night
  30. Slaughterhouse-Five
  31. The Man in the Iron Mask
  32. Atlas Shrugged
  33. Heart of Darkness
  34. The Sun Also Rises
  35. Moby Dick
  36. The Count of Monte Cristo
  37. Cat’s Cradle
  38. The Picture of Dorian Gray
  39. The Rum Diary
  40. The Pillars of the Earth
  41. Ender’s Game
  42. Persepolis
  43. Maus
  44. I Know Why The Caged Birds Sing
  45. The Three Musketeers
  46. A Lesson Before Dying
  47. The Scarlet Letter
  48. Little Women
  49. Dracula
  50. The Bell Jar

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R.I.P. Amber


Me and Amber. This picture was taken this past week.

This morning my family, Christopher, and I went to the Animal Clinic to help Amber ease into sleep and pass away.

It wasn’t easy, I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but seeing it was the terrible. Seeing Amber lying there, while my dad held her in his arms one last time, as they inject the drugs into her. I can still see her head drooping and her body relaxing into his arms til finally her life left her body.

She just laid there, wasn’t moving or breathing; her eyes were closed.

I didn’t think I could feel anymore pain. I didn’t think it could be any worse. All week I had been crying on and off at the thought of Amber leaving us. I completely lost it as I saw her body turn limp. I had to leave the room. Thank God I had Chris there, I would have been more of a mess otherwise.

I know she is no longer in pain now that she has passed. She had been suffering from lupus, arthritis, neuropathy, and dementia. She was becoming blind more and more each day, on top of that her hearing was. She would bump into doors, stare off in the distance not know where she is or who we were. She walked into the tree this past week. I knew that with her passing, she would no longer be in pain.

Still doesn’t make me feel better though. I still miss her.

Amber had lived with us for 15 years. We found this beautiful Shetland Sheepdog/German Shepard furball of love in a shelter in Rhode Island and we adopted her.  I would go into more details about my fondest memories of her, but I can’t seem to do that just yet.

Please keep Amber and my family in your thoughts and prayers. It would be greatly appreciated.


My Mother took this picture.


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In 1436


I woke up to the sound of my roommates computer humming and I heard movement as she packed the last of her things.

And I needed to use the bathroom.

While sitting in the bathroom that I shared with her and two others (who live in the room next door) for the past school year I realized, this would be the last night I would hear the hum of her computer as she was up once again playing games because she was having trouble sleeping. No more waking up in the middle of the night because my bladder dictated I had to go, see her up, and worry about how little sleep she gets.

I was really going to miss her.

When I first met Tawny, it was online after our rooms had been assigned. She messaged me introducing herself and explained her habits to me (a fellow introvert).  She wasn’t you typical college student, she was a little older and I was very happy to learn that. Not a crazy 18 year old who is all hyped up because she is living away from her parents for the first time. Thank God.

I told her that I too was older, just a year younger than her. I Mentioned that I can’t stand the cold, I tend to become easily sick, and that I was a light sleeper. I had already come up with the idea of a curtain of sorts so that way when she is on the computer because she is having trouble sleeping it wouldn’t wake me up and it would give me a little nook of my own. Help me feel that I was in my own space.

After that we concluded our conversation online.

I was still really nervous. I have had past roommate experiences. From messy to crazy, they were not always enjoyable. My last roommate experience left me terrified.

I remember arriving to move in day. I told my mom that we should get there early, she gave me grief about it, but she totally thanked me afterwards as we saw all the traffic from my window. Sadly, I don’t have a lot of pictures from that day, I was too tired and nervous.

My roommate didn’t arrive right away. I took the bed farthest from the door since I was the lighter sleeper and I knew she tended to stay up longer. When she finally did show up I was worried, I am always worried when I meet new people.

I remember us hanging out together for the first time. It was for Torch Night, it is supposed to be a night where the Freshman head to a location to have the Torch passed onto them. I wanted to go, but I wasn’t a Freshman, I was just a transfer student.

My mom told me I had every right to go, it was my first year there, I had worked hard. I had earned. I invited my roommate along and she was down for it, especially since there was free food also for the freshman beforehand. When I told her what my mom said, she agreed with my mom and she liked my mom right away.  We were both new students and it was our first year at the University of Tennessee. Even though we weren’t freshman hour wise, we were freshman when it came to the UT experience.

We went to Torch night together, I was of course nervous and feeling out of place among all the Freshman. Many hadn’t lived on their own yet, many have yet to screw up really hard, many haven’t lived. You could tell they were excited and you could tell they were nervous. They were rowdy, already excited because they had supposedly just met their best friend forever, and I knew that most of them had no idea what they were getting into.

At Torch Night

At Torch Night in August

As we sat down in Thompson Boiling Arena It felt weird hearing about the Freshman, all talking about partying (been there, done that- yes even at their age), so excited for the first football game, and others just glad to be away from their parents. There were many speeches at Torch Night. The football team and the new coach came out along with some members of the Pride of the Southland Marching Band, and the cheerleaders too. All to get us pumped up with Tennessee spirit.

At Torch Night itself I had a good time with my roommate. I really don’t remember much from that night, other than laughing at being called a freshman (if they only knew), said to be of the graduating class of 2017 (I will probably be graduating a year earlier), and there was something else, but I honestly can’t remember.

I was still nervous though, my roommate seemed very chill, laid back. With her tattoos and piercings I was worried. Would she be like other people she met and thought that this was a waste of time. What does she think of me with my lack of tattoos, regular piercings, and a girl with braces. Did I mention that I am girly and pink is my favorite color? Seems silly, but I was worried, would my roommate with different political views and no real religious views that I could gather at that time. How would she deal with a catholic independent but conservative girly girl who acts like a 5 year old some time? Would she sterotype me and pin me down, even though I didn’t get along or agree with many of the conservatives I had met simply for many reasons too long to get into in this post. Let us just say I didn’t agree with everything they thought either.

I realize now that she too was nervous. Probably worried about how we would get along. What would happen, etc.

Looking back now, my worries were unfounded.

I don’t recall us ever getting mad at each other or having a fight. Sounds really weird, but if either of us ever had an issue we talked it out. Whether it was the heating/air conditioning, lights at night, etc. Not many issues like that came up.

We were both introverted, sometimes I wonder who would win in the introvert contest, so we didn’t always talk a lot at the end of the day. I would talk to her though a great deal at random times. I’m used to just talking and interacting with the people I lived with. I always hoped I wasn’t bothering her, I tried to make sure I wasn’t.

When we would have long conversations, they were LONG! They were great we would spend hours talking sometimes till 2 in the morning, which for the first semester was a bad idea since I had early morning classes. But they were worth it.

We shared our food, tea, and medicine. I became Dr. Vanek to her thanks to all my experience with getting sick, and my large supply of over the counter medicine from being sick so often I helped her when I could. And she helped me in return.

For me the biggest sign that she was a great person was not by how understanding she was when I needed to turn down the AC during the summer and turn up the heat in the winter. No, the biggest sign was when I mentioned to her that I suffered depression and anxiety. I told her I was finally going on medication and that I though I should mention it to her because A.) she lives with me, B.) I don’t know how I will react with the medication so if for some reason if I act mean/nasty/crazy during this experience that is why so be warned ahead of time, and C.) I was scared out of my mind. Saying all of this while crying and being totally scared of being judged. What does she do?

She just hugs me, says that she is there to listen, and thinks that it is brave that I am taking that step. No judging, no thinking I am crazy, no scared of me, and I don’t think she ran to our RA requesting a new roommate. I was somewhat shocked and very touched by that moment. Slightly tearing up from remembering that.

Although I’m not sure if you would say we are the best of friends(I still have trouble figuring out where I am friendship level wise with others), I do consider her to be important in my life. We didn’t go everywhere together, we weren’t in the same clubs, and we don’t have the same major. I do consider her my friend and having her for a roommate was a very comfortable and pleasant experience.

I was able to rant to her, she listened. We had long conversations without judgement, sometime we surprised each other. We watched scifi movies together.  We ate food, went to the occasional bar, had nap marathons (yes nap marathons), etc. That may not seem like we did much together and if I made a list of every single little thing, it may not seem like a big deal to you. Every time I hung out with Tawny, everytime I talked with her, I really enjoyed myself. I was hanging out with a great person.

This may not sound magical to you or a like one of those wonderful  roommate stories, but to me this is the end of my roommate experience with Tawny. I am really going to miss her.

We went out together with some of the other girls on our floor recently to Cheesecake Factory in the middle of finals week. We did this so that way we would have a chance to eat together before people leaved. The food was so Yummy! My roommate and I went separately since the one persons car can’t handle tall people. Once I arrived in the other car, I was lucky enough to be able to sit next to Tawny to take a picture with her and talk with her.


At Cheesecake Factory in May

We all talked and ate, I could tell we were all feeling the weight of finals still. We all exchanged stories from throughout the year, one of them involving the time I woke up thinking I was in the room alone and that there was a creepy person by my bed (it was only a combination of  having just woken up from a weird dream involving creepy person by my bed, the curtain by my bed, the moonlight from the blinds hitting the curtain, and the air coming from the heating/conditioning unit moving said curtain). So, I said really loudly (while forgetting that I am in the dorm), “Get out of my room!” Immediately after saying this I realized I was in the dorm room, it was just a dream, and that my roommate was in bed asleep. I was terrified that I had woken her up. I decided to mention it to her in the morning and apologize if I did.

Turns out she did hear me say this, and her first though was (and she wanted to say) , “I can’t though” confused and laughing to herself at the same time. She remembered though that sometimes I talked in my sleep (she says I mostly just mumble), she figured this was just one of those times. She was able to get back to sleep with ease since she said she was half asleep and half awake. I’m glad she can look back at the moment and laugh.

There were many moments like this (not me talking loudly in my sleep) that may seem so insignificant, but were in fact part of what made this roommate experience wonderful.

Even though I went home some weekends because I just needed to escape campus and people for the safety of my own room (introverts everywhere, you understand this), even though I had my boyfriend over many times to be with me because I needed someone to help comfort me while I was going through another episode of anxiety and depression (sometimes at the same time, other times separate), and even though I was often in my head trying to keep my life together pre-medication and on medication; Tawny has been a great roommate.

I only wish I could spend more time with my roommate.

I only hope I have been a good roommate in return.

As I sit here in my dorm bed while Tawny is at the desk, her computer humming because she is playing games and using her bed sheet as a curtain, hiding the light because she is being courteous since she knows I am a sensitive sleeper. I can’t help but feel really sad.

In worry of coming across as a sap and almost silly, I really will miss Tawny. A part of me does want to cry over this change.

I will miss the fact that she is shorter than me, her head only coming up to my boobs when we hug. I will miss out conversations, her badass tattoos and piercings. I will miss our nap marathons that we will have, or inspire each other to have. I will miss talking about everything with her from geeky things to issues involving politics and religion.

You wouldn’t think upon first meeting us that we could get along, you think we were totally different personality looking at our facebook page. The crazy and wonderful thing is, we were able to be open with each other and we listened.  We are a lot more alike than you would think.

I appreciate and felt honored every time she opened up and shared a personal story with me. I am inspired by what she has told me. I am really glad I met her and had her for a roommate. I can’t say that enough.

We have exchanged addresses so that we can keep in contact, she won’t be able to return to the University of Tennessee. She is an out of state student and if you think tuition is ridiculous for those who live in state, imagine out of state (and they don’t offer as many scholarships for those students either- its harder when you are an older transfer student).  She mentioned to me she plans on visiting within a year, I told her she better and that I was expecting her too. She said it will happen.

I really hope that I will be able to visit her and she will be able to come back here.

Thank you Tawny. Thank you for being my roommate this past school year. Thank you for being understanding, thank you for being great. Thank you for being you.

I will Miss You. I will Miss sharing 1436 of Morrill Hall with you.

Stay Badass my friend.


My Valentine’s Day 2014

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Valentine’s Day wasn’t a a huge ordeal this year. I was really excited for where Chris was going to take me, but honestly for most if the day I kept thinking of one thing, I needed to get his gift done.

I decided to make him for Valentine’s Day this year 52 reason why I love him. While I know I can’t narrow the reasons down to that number, I decided to try anyway. I won’t lie it was hard. It took me hours staring at the computer trying to figure out what words to say. Trying to describe why you love someone is hard, especially since there are so many reasons, and for me loving Christopher comes as easy and natural as breathing. Can be difficult at times when you are upset with each other, but it’s like exercise- those muscles are getting stronger and so is the relationship.

It took me I want to say about 4-5 hours to finish the whole thing. It took me a while. All the paper and gluing I had to do. I was very glad I had told Chris that I we should have dinner later at 10, because originally we were thinking about having dinner at 7:30 and I only finished his gift a little after 7:30.

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Look at this lovely mess.

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52 Reasons Why I Love You!

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On the left is the box the deck of cards came from and on the right is the end result of this project. I don’t think the cards would have fit in there. I used a lot of paper.

After that I sped through getting ready. I was originally going to curl my hair, but I was too impatient and I decided to just try to give it volume instead.  I called Chris to let him know I was on my way. I was very excited to see where he was going to take me. I don’t know why I was really excited for this Valentine’s Day, I knew we weren’t going to be doing a lot. I think it was because I was excited to just spend time with him and I wanted to see what he thought of his gift.

After I got my makeup on, which took less time than I suspected, I kept pacing back and forth. Bothered my roomate and hallmates until Chris texted me to let me know he was here. I was freaking out.


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When he finally arrives I head down to meet him (guests are not allowed into the dorm unaccompanied) and I see him there and he is so surprised by what I was wearing, very different from what I usually wear, but I loved the outfit and I was rocking it. I got lots of compliments and stares that night.

When we arrived to dinner I was genuinely surprised to find out that we were eating at Copper Cellar! I was really excited I hadn’t eaten at this restaurant since I was 12! I loved the food and it felt so fancy! Now I was nervous because we were an our early, so I didn’t know what we were going to do. Well it turns out that a lot of people didn’t show up for their reservations (sometimes people book multiple restaurants ahead of time and than give their date more options as to where they want to go, but they never cancel the other bookings. We were able to as a result get in a hour early! I was very happy.


When it came time to giving gifts, I insisted Chris open his gift first. I couldn’t wait to see his reaction. He was confused and shocked at first. I explained to him what it was and he loved it. I was so happy that he loved his gift. I had also bought chocolate and a starter Theros deck ( he is into Magic the Gathering), but he said his favorite gift was the deck of cards I made for him.

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Looking at the cards I made for him. 😀

Now when he handed me his gift I was nervous, he said that it wasn’t a ring so I shouldn’t worry (which I was very glad for I am not ready for that yet). Well, when I opened the book I was shocked. He gave me real emerald earrings. They were beautiful. I was speechless. He even laughed from how speechless I was. I’m honestly surprised I didn’t cry because it was an amazing gift and I was amazed that he bought it for me. I knew it must have cost a lot. Chris at one point said with my reaction everyone would have thought he proposed. Man, my reaction when he proposes, I will probably cry, freak out, and be dumbfounded all in one. Anyway.

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I was genuinely shocked.

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The Emerald Earrings


The rest of dinner was great I had , delicious wine, crab cakes mashed potatoes, and Cesar salad. I was stuffed. We just spent time together and it was wonderful. After dinner was over we drove around, did some shopping, and went home and cuddled while watching The Golden Age of Sinbad.

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It was a wonderful Valentine’s Day. I believe this is on par with our first Valentine’s Day (part 2- I will explain the story in another post later). How was your Valentine’s Day? What has been your best Valentine’s Day? Let me know in the comments.


10 Signs You are not Emotionally Ready for a Relationship.

A few weeks back I read a blog post that I partially agreed with and partially didn’t. All of you have probably heard of it by now. 23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You ‘re 23.

I was writing another blog post in regards to “23 Things” and it became so long I knew I was going to have to narrow it down and not include this list.

We have all come across this person at least once in our life. This person feels like they need someone in their life to feel complete. They constantly are looking for a guy (or girl) to be in a relationship with or they are constantly in a relationships, always talking about how this person makes them feel so special/important/loved. They are always talking about boys/girls needing someone in their life. They tend to date the same time of people over and over again. There is also the possibility that they are in unhealthy relationships and they don’t know it.  They promise not to make the same mistake again or vow to not date and a few months later once again, they found, “The One.”

If you don’t know anyone like this, if you don’t even have an acquaintance that fits this description, you may want to take a good look in the mirror. You could be the one that is constantly needing a relationship. You may be the one that jumps from person to person (I’m not even talking sexually, I’m talking about “committed” relationships). You may need to evaluate your way of thinking.

Are you unsure if you should get into a relationship? Here are 10 Signs

  1. You haven’t dealt with your issues yet and you don’t want to.  All the issues that we develop over the years will never truly go away, they only become easier to deal with, to understand, and recognize. If you haven’t dealt with them, you aren’t ready. If you are going to bury your head in the sand like an ostrich when it comes to dealing and recognizing you have issues you aren’t ready for a relationship.
  2. You are willing to change everything about yourself for the other person. There is nothing wrong with bettering oneself, in fact I highly encourage you to try to become a better person. But, if you are willing to change everything you are for the sake of the other person, that is an issue. You like comic books, your guy thinks comic books are only for guys, nerds ,etc. Although that is a minor example, the same example can be applied to religion, politics, social issues, etc.Do you also finding yourself tending to change your personality depending on the guy/girl you are with? You tend to be more into sports when he is around because he is into sports? You like or don’t video games because she/he does/doesn’t? One minute you are preppy and the next minute you are goth because your guy/girl just happens to be like that? Yes, that is a problem. There is a difference between finding out who you are and switching between different personalities and personas of yourself.
  3. You are constantly looking for Love or “The One.” Are you constantly calling/texting/chatting with your friends about how much you want to be with someone? Are you constantly on dating websites, hookup websites, etc just in case you might meet that someone special. Are you constantly going out to places and scoping out the scenes in order to find true love? If the thought of finding someone special is taking up more than 90% of your time that is an issue.I understand that if you do want to meet someone that you have to put yourself out there, but don’t forget your own interests! Read, write, shoot some hoops. Do something! If your only interest is finding a guy/girl or if that is the only interest of yours that you pursue, you need to check yourself.
  4. Someone Save Me from (insert problem, issue, etc)! No one will be able to make you life perfect, magical, or easy. The other person is human too! You expect another human being with their own flaws, issues, and obstacles to handle your own as well. Not only is that delusional, it is pretty selfish. You need to learn to fight your own battles, overcome your own problems, and work at your life.It’s not bad to have someone to help you get through it. To have someone to talk to, but they shouldn’t be a crutch, they should just be your shoulder to cry on for a few moments. Someone to listen to your problems, they shouldn’t be there to solve every single problem and help you make decisions whether they are minor or major.
  5. You want to Save him. You see that he has real potential. I hate to break it to you, if he wants to change for the better, he will do it with or without your help. Yes, a man can meet a girl and that can inspire him to be a better, but that is the thing, he has to be inspired, he has to want to become a better person.Also most of the time, a lot of people aren’t ready, willing, or wanting to change. Forcing someone or trying to get someone to change is not only pointless but can cause resentment on both sides. Would you rather have a project for a boyfriend, fiance,or husband or someone who is mature and can treat you with respect?
  6. You have trust Issues. Whether it is because you were abandoned by your dad, neglected by your mom, or you have had terrible exes, you don’t trust anyone. You think it is okay to check that persons email, read their facebook message with their friends without them knowing, checking their texts, or monitoring who they call and hang out with.  If you do any of these things, I don’t care what excuse you use, you are not ready and you need to get help.
  7. You are constantly dating people that are bad for you. Seriously if every choice (or every other choice) that you make tends to end badly. Friends, family don’t like him/her. They say, “S/He doesn’t respect you,” “That was really rude of him/her,” “S/He shouldn’t be treating you like that,” etc. Now if s/he lies to you about where s/he is going, has cheated on you, flirts constantly with other people, says he/she can get anyone they want to your face, calls you an idiot or stupid, throws engagement rings in the trash, etc. Those are inexcusable behaviors. Also, if you do tend to date people that are like this and think this is normal, you really should go see someone for help. I’m not saying you are crazy, but these behaviors and these relationships are really unhealthy. It becomes an addiction, you can’t break the cycle and you need help.
  8. You feel Like you need a Relationship (or just someone) to be Happy. No, this is definitely the wrong mentality to have. Only you can make yourself happy and find ways to make yourself happy. You need to work at it.Find something that makes you happy. Do something that makes you happy that doesn’t involve getting into a romantic, sexual, or whatever kind of relationship you seek so you can be happy.Now if you are battling depression or other mental illness, I can tell you from experience being a relationship won’t cure it or help it go away. The only way to get help is to go to therapy and or go on medication. There is nothing wrong with needing therapy or needing to go on medication for help. We all could use help.
  9. “I just want a relationship so bad!” Are you wanting a relationship because you are tired of being alone? All your friends are in relationships and you aren’t? Being desperate for someone isn’t a good thing either. In fact, you open yourself up to people that could be bad for you.  Also just because your friends have realtionships does not mean they are good relationships. Also being desperate is not attractive for either gender.
  10. “I Just want to find “The One”, settle down, get married and have kids.” It is a nice thought and it’s not terrible to want to find that someone special to share the rest of your life. Still though, if that is your primary focus, you need to have a change in perspective. How are you going to take care of said family? What abut money?  Heck what if the relationship ends badly and you need to leave? Do you have a way to support yourself? What about the kids in your life? It is always good to have a back up plan and have interests beyond your man.

You don’t need someone to be complete!