Category Archives: Advice

50 Signs That Show You Can Read (or Watch) 50 Shades of Grey, Without Falling under its Spell

The Movie is coming out this weekend and all I can do is shudder. Many people around the world have read this abuse book disguised as erotica and have fallen under its spell. Sadly many of those same people will go out and watch the movie too (granted the script will probably be better than the book because they have someone who can write.) This makes me depressed.

There are those of us of course who recognize all these problems and still come out alive, but perhaps a little bit scarred as a result. You have my sympathies, but at least we are informed.

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What I Wish I Had Known Before I Went to High School

book open2

With being out of high school for more than 4 years now I have had a lot of time to look back on my life and what I did while I was in High School. I have learned a lot and there are many things that I would change looking back on it, since I can’t though I hope I can pass my knowledge and what I have learned onto you.

Academics 

  • Now is the time you will be preparing for College. I never thought about it like this, but it is true. When I entered high school this was far from my mind. All I was thinking about was “Thank God I’m out of middle school” & “Shit. I’m still around those people, but at least there are more people here that I like”
  • Start doing well in your classes now! This is a must, get a good head start on your classes. The reason for this as you reach your Senior year you will feel senioritis more and more. Sometimes you will begin to feel it in your Sophomore year.
  • Take more Honors Classes & and try some AP Classes. Taking more Honors classes can help prepare you for the challenge of college and with taking AP Classes depending on how well you do on the AP test, you can test out of a class and you won’t have to be in college as long.
  • Take a Dual Enrollment Class. This is where you can take classes and get college credit! Depending on the program you have sometimes you can take them at the college, at your high school, or its done at both your college and high school.
  • Talk with your academic counselor, a lot. If you are having any problems, talk to them. Whether you are struggling in classes or dealing with senioritis. They also know about different programs in the area. For example in my area there is this program called Governors School, an intensive program for talented and gifted high school students. There are topics ranging from the arts to agricultural to science.
  • Do the homework and study. Even if it seems easy and you understand still do the reading and study. Who knows you can either test out of classes or you can still learn that information for classes you will have to take in college.
  • Your Grades Don’t define you, but they are important. One F does not mean you fail at life. It just means you need to talk to your teacher, not make the same mistakes and work smarter.
  • Talk to your Teachers. Whether it is help with classes or you want help when it comes to trying to find guidance in the field of you interest, you teachers may be aware of opportunities that could boost your resume.

Extra Curricular Activities

  • Try Anything! Whether you join the robotics club or you want to start your own club, do it! I know it may be scary, but seriously just have the mentality of screw these people, I won’t really see them in  years. You deserve to have fun and to try new things. It also looks really good for college and it can help figure out what path you want to take.
  • Try out for sports (besides Cheerleading & Dance) at least once. I remember when I was younger I enjoyed basketball. As I got older I really enjoyed soccer and flag football. I wish I had tried out at least once instead of feeling that because I wasn’t popular or the typical individual I shouldn’t try out.
  • Do stuff outside of school. Try to get involved in extra curricular activities outside of school. Not only will you be opening yourself to more opportunities, you won’t be held back the cliques and the social order of high school that will exist.

Social Life

  • Forget the haters. You will have a lot of people hate you throughout your high school career. Just think of it this way, they are spending their time thinking about you. You must be that fabulous or they have a boring life. Either way
  • You don’t need to be in a relationship. While it is conviant when there are school dances, besides that it just adds another level of drama. If you want to date, fine. If you want to be in a relationship, fine. Just remember the odds of that relationship lasting beyond high school is slim. Also you may not be ready for a relationship and please remember you don’t need someone to complete you.
  • Try to find some real friends. I know this one will probably be the hardest out of all of them. Don’t be friends with someone just because of …. I talk to maybe one or two people from high school an the majority of people that I did hang out with- I had nothing in common with them, except I was an outcast.
  • Drama free is the way to be. If you want some Drama in you life watch reality TV, otherwise get rid of the drama. I know it’s harder because you go to the same school and you could possibly be in the same group, but look at it this way. You are already stressing out about classes, you don’t need other people creating drama or involving you in drama.

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Spread the word. Share this blog with your family, friends, etc.

Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Parents

Although we usually don’t think about our parents on Valentine’s Day, they also should be reminded about how much we love them on this special day.

Our parents are the first examples of what a relationship looks like, they help us get through a lot, and they helped raise us. They have been there for us and  have seen us at our best and worst. What would be a better way than to give them a surprise and show them some love on Valentine’s Day.

Now because your parents may have plans, you may want to plan on giving them their gift before or after Valentine’s Day. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact it will even be a bigger surprise to them that way.

Make them  dinner!

Asparagus Chicken Pasta

Asparagus Chicken Pasta. Click on the link to be taken to the recipe

Either do a small dinner or a three course meal. If that sounds too intimidating if you have any siblings maybe you can ask them to help you out.

If you haven’t cooked before try something easy. Chicken and pasta are pretty easy dishes that you can’t mess up. Buy some bread and have salad ready and BAM! Dinner is served.

If you are comfortable in the kitchen try to make their favorite recipe. My parents love Asian food, so I would (if I felt more comfortable in the kitchen) try an Asian inspired recipe.

Kung Pao Noodles and Chicken

Kung Pao Noodles and Chicken. Click on the image to get the recipe.

Treat them to a date night!

Whether it is a trip to a spa, restaurant, or movies; your parents deserve some time to themselves. You can always buy a gift card for them. To make it extra special make a card to go with the money for their date night. 

This restaurant is Porters by the way. I have been here and I love it!

Make something for your parents.

This one is really simple. Just get a 52 card deck from a dollar store and get creative! I made one for my mom and she loved it!  There are so many different ideas on how to do this if you need help. Just check out pinterest if you need some help

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What will you be doing for your parents on Valentine’s day? Let me know in the comments below!

Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Friends

Valentine’s Day is coming up soon and during this time of year there are people that won’t have a significant other on that day. That is okay because you still have your friends that you can hang out with on Valentine’s Day and exchange gifts.

Whether your gifts are big, small, homemade or bought, the important thing is to remember the friends you love on this special day.

Here are some gift ideas to give to your friend(s)!

Show them some love and get crafty!

Here are some ideas I like. With the second one you can include candy, making it more personal.

Valentine's Day Treat Packages

heart + buttons = art

 

Bake some goods

Nothing says love liked baked goods. If you can’t afford to get crafty, than bake something!

cookiebox Express Your Love With Cookies This Valentines Day!

Make some Food!

Valentine's Day Heart Shaped Pizza, inspired heart food ideas www.foodideasrecipes.com

bacon hearts, how to, recipe, valentines day, sweetheart, chocolate covered bacon hearts

Write them a letter

Valentine's Day Letter Writing ~ Freebie!

It is currently free to downloadFree Printable Valentines Day StationaryFree printable stationary. Click on image to go to link

Tell them why you are happy to have your friendship.

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Are you and your friends exchanging gifts? What are you going to do for your friends this Valentine’s day?

Let me know in the comments below!

 

 

You Don’t Have to Agree

opinion

With taking a Political Science this semester I already knew that this semester would be interesting, especially since this year it is a congressional election year.

With that being said I got to thinking about how I have not really touched politics, religion, etc. on my blog. I won’t lie, part of me is hesitant. The reason why I am hesitant is because frankly the one thing I am not looking forward to is angry arguments, rants, and people just being hateful because I believe differently than them.

It’s not that I can’t handle it, I just get tried of the fighting, the yelling, and all the anger that comes with it. It’s draining. Why can’t we act like mature adults. I hate fighting.

Over the years I have had a lot of people attack me for what I believe. I won’t go into it all in one blog, it isn’t possible, but it is really a shame when rather than having a logical discussion we name call each other, belittle each other, and become nasty individuals because someone else has different views than us.

I know the more I bring up religion and politics on my blog, the more heated things will get. I understand people will have different viewpoints, but the one thing I am asking I guess is for compassion, understanding, and tolerance (personally I don’t like the connotation of that word, but that is a blog post for another day).

Also I just want to point out something, just because they differ from you when it comes to political and or religious beliefs does no mean they are bad people, the devil,  not compassionate, stupid, idiots, morons, etc. This is if they actually have reasonable arguments (don’t use this an as an excuse to be racists or be prejudice in any manner).

I have always believed that even if I don’t agree with someone they still deserve love and respect. No matter how different their views are from mine. It’s not always easy, but it’s important to remember that the more angry and hateful we are with each other, the more hate and anger we are spreading the less love there is in the world.

I also believe that it is possible to still be friends and or get along even if you have different opinions. What makes this difficult is that both sides have to realize that it’s okay to have different opinions, and be accepting of the fact that the other person has a different opinion. The main thing though that makes this difficult is that people try to change the other person, you can’t make a person change.

No matter what you believe it is important to remember that not everyone is going to think like you and it’s always going to be like that. The important thing is we must learn to live, love, respect and work with each other in this messed up world.

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10 Signs You are not Emotionally Ready for a Relationship.

A few weeks back I read a blog post that I partially agreed with and partially didn’t. All of you have probably heard of it by now. 23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You ‘re 23.

I was writing another blog post in regards to “23 Things” and it became so long I knew I was going to have to narrow it down and not include this list.

We have all come across this person at least once in our life. This person feels like they need someone in their life to feel complete. They constantly are looking for a guy (or girl) to be in a relationship with or they are constantly in a relationships, always talking about how this person makes them feel so special/important/loved. They are always talking about boys/girls needing someone in their life. They tend to date the same time of people over and over again. There is also the possibility that they are in unhealthy relationships and they don’t know it.  They promise not to make the same mistake again or vow to not date and a few months later once again, they found, “The One.”

If you don’t know anyone like this, if you don’t even have an acquaintance that fits this description, you may want to take a good look in the mirror. You could be the one that is constantly needing a relationship. You may be the one that jumps from person to person (I’m not even talking sexually, I’m talking about “committed” relationships). You may need to evaluate your way of thinking.

Are you unsure if you should get into a relationship? Here are 10 Signs

  1. You haven’t dealt with your issues yet and you don’t want to.  All the issues that we develop over the years will never truly go away, they only become easier to deal with, to understand, and recognize. If you haven’t dealt with them, you aren’t ready. If you are going to bury your head in the sand like an ostrich when it comes to dealing and recognizing you have issues you aren’t ready for a relationship.
  2. You are willing to change everything about yourself for the other person. There is nothing wrong with bettering oneself, in fact I highly encourage you to try to become a better person. But, if you are willing to change everything you are for the sake of the other person, that is an issue. You like comic books, your guy thinks comic books are only for guys, nerds ,etc. Although that is a minor example, the same example can be applied to religion, politics, social issues, etc.Do you also finding yourself tending to change your personality depending on the guy/girl you are with? You tend to be more into sports when he is around because he is into sports? You like or don’t video games because she/he does/doesn’t? One minute you are preppy and the next minute you are goth because your guy/girl just happens to be like that? Yes, that is a problem. There is a difference between finding out who you are and switching between different personalities and personas of yourself.
  3. You are constantly looking for Love or “The One.” Are you constantly calling/texting/chatting with your friends about how much you want to be with someone? Are you constantly on dating websites, hookup websites, etc just in case you might meet that someone special. Are you constantly going out to places and scoping out the scenes in order to find true love? If the thought of finding someone special is taking up more than 90% of your time that is an issue.I understand that if you do want to meet someone that you have to put yourself out there, but don’t forget your own interests! Read, write, shoot some hoops. Do something! If your only interest is finding a guy/girl or if that is the only interest of yours that you pursue, you need to check yourself.
  4. Someone Save Me from (insert problem, issue, etc)! No one will be able to make you life perfect, magical, or easy. The other person is human too! You expect another human being with their own flaws, issues, and obstacles to handle your own as well. Not only is that delusional, it is pretty selfish. You need to learn to fight your own battles, overcome your own problems, and work at your life.It’s not bad to have someone to help you get through it. To have someone to talk to, but they shouldn’t be a crutch, they should just be your shoulder to cry on for a few moments. Someone to listen to your problems, they shouldn’t be there to solve every single problem and help you make decisions whether they are minor or major.
  5. You want to Save him. You see that he has real potential. I hate to break it to you, if he wants to change for the better, he will do it with or without your help. Yes, a man can meet a girl and that can inspire him to be a better, but that is the thing, he has to be inspired, he has to want to become a better person.Also most of the time, a lot of people aren’t ready, willing, or wanting to change. Forcing someone or trying to get someone to change is not only pointless but can cause resentment on both sides. Would you rather have a project for a boyfriend, fiance,or husband or someone who is mature and can treat you with respect?
  6. You have trust Issues. Whether it is because you were abandoned by your dad, neglected by your mom, or you have had terrible exes, you don’t trust anyone. You think it is okay to check that persons email, read their facebook message with their friends without them knowing, checking their texts, or monitoring who they call and hang out with.  If you do any of these things, I don’t care what excuse you use, you are not ready and you need to get help.
  7. You are constantly dating people that are bad for you. Seriously if every choice (or every other choice) that you make tends to end badly. Friends, family don’t like him/her. They say, “S/He doesn’t respect you,” “That was really rude of him/her,” “S/He shouldn’t be treating you like that,” etc. Now if s/he lies to you about where s/he is going, has cheated on you, flirts constantly with other people, says he/she can get anyone they want to your face, calls you an idiot or stupid, throws engagement rings in the trash, etc. Those are inexcusable behaviors. Also, if you do tend to date people that are like this and think this is normal, you really should go see someone for help. I’m not saying you are crazy, but these behaviors and these relationships are really unhealthy. It becomes an addiction, you can’t break the cycle and you need help.
  8. You feel Like you need a Relationship (or just someone) to be Happy. No, this is definitely the wrong mentality to have. Only you can make yourself happy and find ways to make yourself happy. You need to work at it.Find something that makes you happy. Do something that makes you happy that doesn’t involve getting into a romantic, sexual, or whatever kind of relationship you seek so you can be happy.Now if you are battling depression or other mental illness, I can tell you from experience being a relationship won’t cure it or help it go away. The only way to get help is to go to therapy and or go on medication. There is nothing wrong with needing therapy or needing to go on medication for help. We all could use help.
  9. “I just want a relationship so bad!” Are you wanting a relationship because you are tired of being alone? All your friends are in relationships and you aren’t? Being desperate for someone isn’t a good thing either. In fact, you open yourself up to people that could be bad for you.  Also just because your friends have realtionships does not mean they are good relationships. Also being desperate is not attractive for either gender.
  10. “I Just want to find “The One”, settle down, get married and have kids.” It is a nice thought and it’s not terrible to want to find that someone special to share the rest of your life. Still though, if that is your primary focus, you need to have a change in perspective. How are you going to take care of said family? What abut money?  Heck what if the relationship ends badly and you need to leave? Do you have a way to support yourself? What about the kids in your life? It is always good to have a back up plan and have interests beyond your man.

You don’t need someone to be complete! 

You Don’t Need Someone To Be Complete

A few weeks back I read a blog post that I partially agreed with and partially didn’t. All of you have probably heard of it by now. 23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You ‘re 23. Although I don’t agree with everything she said or her list of things to do, I did see some value in it.

While reading the article it reminded me on my thoughts on marriage and getting married young age. I live in the southeast, so a lot of people are still getting married at a young age and it still surprises me how many people I have met in college whose whole purpose is to get their “Mrs.” or find a “good wife. ” Yes, my mother got married at 23 and my dad 24, but it was not planned, they didn’t actively seek to find “the one”, and they dated for a very long time, about 4-5 years. I am myself 23 years old, in a relationship, I’m not engaged, and I am okay with that.

While I am okay with that, I have known girls, friends and acquaintances that talk about the fact that they wish they could meet someone, how they need to have someone in their life to feel whole and complete. When I read “23 Things” I really wonder if those were the kind of people she was talking about. You know, the girls that are/were obsessed with boys in high school/college. They didn’t feel right, complete, important, special, etc. unless they had a boyfriend or a guy telling them they are wonderful, special, important, etc. They needed a guy to feel whole and complete as a human being.

The people that I knew that had issues when it comes to “always needing someone syndrome” tend to have family issues. Whether it was abuse, neglect, abandonment, or all of the above- their self confidence was usually pretty low and they needed someone. As a result, I noticed that girls would look for love like every day was a Black Friday Sale, and it can be a scary thing.

As someone who has been single, in a relationship short term and with being in a relationship long term I can tell you one thing, no guy, no one can ever make you ever feel complete.  I feel like I have found my other half with my boyfriend, he complements me, he is my partner in life. However, even with realizing I have found my partner in crime, I still had a lots of issues, learning, and growing up to do. Even with finding him, there were (and are still) hurts, anxieties, and problems that need to be dealt with before we get married. He has his own as well.

I can’t tell you how many times I have come across friends and acquaintances that are getting married who I believe truly aren’t ready and emotionally mature for marriage. Especially when said individual has declared on numerous occasions that “I think he is the one” in regards to over 20 different boys (I don’t say men either for a reason) in a span of 2-3 years.

It saddens me because these people are beautiful, talented, and wonderful but because they don’t see it in themselves. Also you don’t to have a relationship to be complete and feel whole. Before you get into a relationships you should really evaluate yourself to see if you are ready.  If you feel like you need someone to be complete, that is one of the signs you are not ready for a relationship. To read the list I have come up with, check it out here.

So while I didn’t agree with everything she said (seriously don’t be in with two guys at once without the other knowing it’s an open relationship, that is just stupid), I will agree with the fact that we should appreciate the fact that when we are single and take advantage of everything life has to offer.