Tag Archives: Health

I’m Back, Let’s Party.

Seems like I have been gone forever, huh? Well guess what: grab a glass of wine, a party hat, and get ready for a story.

If you read this post you will know I have been dealing with a lot, including the death of our family dog, who we had for 15 years.

Where have I been? Dealing with a lot of stuff: being sick, family dealing with medical issues, and things breaking down around the house. Sine my family is more private than I when it comes to this kind of thing, we are going to stick with talking about me.

At the beginning of November the pain in my back returned, not as strong as it was the last time. Went to the ER and while there was told that my kidney infection had most likely returned. Well it turns out it wasn’t a kidney infection, although at this time I am unsure what the cause is.

My trip to the ER alone was not fun. Once I was in and went through the whole ‘when was your last period? Are you pregnant?’ questions, I was than wheeled into the ER. The nurse who was in charge of the IV did a horrible job sticking the needle into me, there was just enough of a hole for blood to pool around. Having been in hospitals enough times and having been around them thanks to my dad, I knew that she wasn’t doing the best job.

After having to give blood, which I have never had a problem with until that night, she gave me drugs for the pain through the IV. They were pretty nice drugs, but at first it felt awful. Those who live with chronic anxiety can understand this; I felt this rush throughout my body as though I was experiencing an instant panic attack. I hadn’t felt one this strong in a long time, I felt like I was going to hyperventilate and pass out. This was a result of the instant adrenaline rush that was sent throughout my body. Following that, I felt very out of it, as though my head was fuzzy and lifting off the pillow. Only closing my eyes helped alleviate the sensation.

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Mental Health Awareness Month

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May is mental health awareness month.

I really feel that mental health isn’t taken as seriously as physical health. If I were to be honest, it still feels that someone can be stigmatized if they had health issues.

From my experience it seems to be worse if it is related to your mental health.

If we injure our leg due to sports, we can talk about going to our physical therapist without a problem.  Yet whether life injures me or my body has chemical issues causing me to be depressed or anxious if I talk about seeing my therapist people begin to feel uncomfortable or they avoid me like I have the plague.

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Why is that?

Mental Health does not just affect an individual mentally, it can affect their physical health as well. It can cause they to be tired, hurting, nauseous, etc.

Why does it still seem taboo to talk about it?

People are still afraid to talk about their mental health. They are afraid of being judge, being looked at differently, or just being seen as weak.

I am not going to lie, I am scared to talk about my mental health. For me it is something I have struggled with since I was 11/12 years old. I don’t remember a day when I felt normal. I can’t tell you the many times that I have been called crazy just because I have depression and anxiety.

Why should I be judged for living mental health issues?

I plan on posting more about my battles with mental health this month. I am really afraid, but I am tired of having this topic be so stigmatized and people being so judgy about it.

Do you struggle with your mental health? What is your biggest struggle? Let me know in the comments below!

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The Menstrual Cycle: Still Taboo

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Today I am going to talk about the menstrual cycle. Aunt Flow, that awful friend that visits you, the Dreaded Period! Have I made you feel uncomfortable yet? Guess what? That’s a issue.

We hear all the time about other body related issues. I have a cold, my nose is all stuffed up. Men talk about their farts and I know some girls that do as well. The one thing though that is still taboo to talk about is, “I have my period.”

To be honest with you reader(s) I have been debating about writing this topic for a few months now. Why? Even I feel a little uncomfortable talking about it on the internet, even though it is a normal aspect of the female body. I should be able to talk about without getting strange looks, but since I won’t be seeing you in person I won’t have to worry about that

. While I can’t control how you look at me after this, I do want you to at least question why you are looking at me so strangely, why you don’t like this topic, and check your answers to those questions to see if they really hold up. After all, this is a normal bodily function that occurs, why is it so taboo? Why can’t I say the word period in public without getting stares?

To the men who maybe reading this and are already beginning to feel a little grossed out, here is my response to you. The women who gave birth to you has her period, started her period around the time of puberty and it won’t go away until after menopause hits,(which sometimes can be as early as their 40s, but I have heard from both my mother and grandmother that it usually begins in their 50s).  Again when menopause hits varies depending on the woman. That girl/young woman you have/had a crush on in middle school, high school, in your college class, etc.; she could be having her period at that moment and you wouldn’t know it. That young woman you want to go on a date with will probably get her period at least once while you are dating. All of this happens probably happens without your knowing, so why does knowing make her look any different in your eyes?

Growing up in my household we were pretty open with each other. We talked about our days, what bothered us, any medical issues (many of my fathers side of the family is in the medical field), etc. As a result when mom or I got our periods it would come up in the discussion. My mother was more quiet about it than I, but for me I saw it as a natural pain that occurred once a month that made me want to curl up in a ball of tears and frustration. It was part of the human body, we talked about our other illnesses, pains, and body issues; why can’t we talk about our periods too?

I remember when I began talking about it openly with female friends (very few at that time). They were very surprised by this. I thought they were just weird, so I didn’t think anything of it. Once time as I began dating different guys and I would get into relationships with them, if they asked me how I was doing and it just happened to be around the time of my period, I was open and upfront with them. Have I mentioned this happened in Tennessee? Well hate to stereotype, but you can imagine their reactions. Many of the guys were shocked and confused. They heard about it in health class and if they had a sister they might learn a little about it, but that was it.

As I began to describe the pain that I would go through once a month for a whole week, and how the first two days make me feel like I want to rip my uterus out, they seemed horrified. I wish I was exaggerating about the pain. I know other women that go through their periods without an ounce of pain, they are the blessed ones in my opinion. I was not so blessed in that department.

Their mother or their sister would never talk about it, nor were they ever open about it. Which for me I can understand because it is a personal aspect. For me though since I grew up in a family where we were pretty open, this was very strange concept.  Many of the guys were amazed/scared by the idea of period. They saw it as gross, heck I still think it is gross at times. I would be a liar if I said otherwise..

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For me personally (I can’t speak for others) it is because of simply the location. It is near two other exits: the urethra and the rectum. Women urinate out of the urethra, they menstruate out of the vaginal opening, and they excrete waste out of the rectum. Feeling uncomfortable again? Imagine me typing this, it feels strange!

When thinking about it in this manner I can understand why it is uncomfortable. It is a part of the body where women still feel most vulnerable about. It is discussed in religion, in hush voices at middle school and high school, and some men are obsessed with that area and see it as a way to achieve manhood. I don’t have to explain how they would “accomplish” this do I?

Sadly to this day there are some men that see this way of “becoming a man” essential. There are others who see having an untouched vagina as a rite of passage. The vaginal opening is revered in some cultures (especially an untouched one) and yet it is still taboo to talk about all of its bodily functions?

Doesn’t that seem a little silly to you? Your body came out a vagina(unless you were the result of a c-section, even then you lived in your mothers womb for 9 months the same area where her period takes place). Your mother bleeds out of a vagina. You may say that is not the same thing, but the only difference is that a baby made of flesh, bone, blood, and other fluids. While she is on her period she bleeds and I believe another fluid is rid of as well along with the walls of her uterus and the eggs that were left unused(don’t quote me- I’m a blogger, not a doctor). There is a difference, but you too were once part egg.

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What are your thoughts on period? Does it bother you to say it out loud? To all the women out there , do you have a code name for your period? If so, if you are brave enough to share, you can share away in the comments below!

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A First for the New Year

I know many find this strange, but for the first time as long as I can remember I feel hope. I feel hope for the New Year.

It is really a strange feeling, hope. A nice feeling too. I’m surprised that I feel this way. Living with depression and anxiety I rarely feel hope. But for some strange reason I have a lot of hope for 2014. I am not hopeful for any particular reason, just hopeful. It is a good feeling.

What are you hoping to accomplish this year? Are you hoping for something special to happen this year? Let me know in the comments below. 

New Years Resolutions

Every year people around the world begin coming up with New Year resolutions. We all know them, I will exercise more, be more organized, try to eat healthy, stick to a budget, etc.

I will try to exercise more, I will try to be more organized, and I want to be able to do a better job at sticking to a budget. But my New Years Resolution is going to be a little different.

My New Year’s resolution is that I want to work on being less critical of myself. For those that may not know I suffer from depression and anxiety.  As a result I am usually hyper critical of myself.

I am not talking about being normal critical like of you should have done that or I should be doing homework. No, I am talking about a constant barrage of critics telling me I am not good enough, I suck at homework, I need to be perfect, why can’t I be perfect, I can’t make a mistake, why do I procrastinate so much, I shouldn’t let my depression be an excuse, what’s wrong with you, why can’t you do anything right, why can’t you chill out, why can’t you be normal. What is wrong with you.

I live with this on a daily basis, I have lived with this on a daily basis since I was 12 years old. I have been dealing with this for over 10 years.

As a result it can be difficult to function on a daily basis. Whether it comes to classes, hanging out with friends, or just writing on this blog. So this year my goal is to do my best to not be as hyper critical of myself.

I really want to learn to accept the fact that I am not perfect. That it is okay to make mistakes. It won’t be easy I have been living with this going on for over 10 years.

My goal for the end of this New Year, for 2014…. is that I want to improve and not be as self critical of myself. It won’t be easy I know that, but it would be a start. I also want to try to seek some help, some professional help just to assist me get through the process. That will not be easy also, but we shall see how it goes.

So that is my New Years Resolution, what are your resolution(s) for 2014? I would love to hear them.