Every year people around the world begin coming up with New Year resolutions. We all know them, I will exercise more, be more organized, try to eat healthy, stick to a budget, etc.
I will try to exercise more, I will try to be more organized, and I want to be able to do a better job at sticking to a budget. But my New Years Resolution is going to be a little different.
My New Year’s resolution is that I want to work on being less critical of myself. For those that may not know I suffer from depression and anxiety. As a result I am usually hyper critical of myself.
I am not talking about being normal critical like of you should have done that or I should be doing homework. No, I am talking about a constant barrage of critics telling me I am not good enough, I suck at homework, I need to be perfect, why can’t I be perfect, I can’t make a mistake, why do I procrastinate so much, I shouldn’t let my depression be an excuse, what’s wrong with you, why can’t you do anything right, why can’t you chill out, why can’t you be normal. What is wrong with you.
I live with this on a daily basis, I have lived with this on a daily basis since I was 12 years old. I have been dealing with this for over 10 years.
As a result it can be difficult to function on a daily basis. Whether it comes to classes, hanging out with friends, or just writing on this blog. So this year my goal is to do my best to not be as hyper critical of myself.
I really want to learn to accept the fact that I am not perfect. That it is okay to make mistakes. It won’t be easy I have been living with this going on for over 10 years.
My goal for the end of this New Year, for 2014…. is that I want to improve and not be as self critical of myself. It won’t be easy I know that, but it would be a start. I also want to try to seek some help, some professional help just to assist me get through the process. That will not be easy also, but we shall see how it goes.
So that is my New Years Resolution, what are your resolution(s) for 2014? I would love to hear them.