Category Archives: Faith

What I am Doing For Lent (2016)

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent.

With battling Lyme Disease I had already given up quite a bit:

  • Fast food- it doesn’t agree with me anymore, I rarely eat it, and when I do my body doesn’t like it
  • Alcohol- I rarely drink it because of all the medicine I am on
  • Sweets- I still eat these, but no where near as much as I used to
  • Junk food- same thing as sweets

Even my priest and family said I should only focus on getting better for lent. My priest has been very helpful and supportive while I am dealing with all the affects of lyme disease.

Well I still feel the need to do something for lent, so I decided to do something I don’t do very often anymore. Pray.
I can’t really tell you when I last prayed on a daily basis. I still believe in God. I believe he exists. It’s not just because of faith either. I have felt him in others. It’s hard to explain.

Anyway back to why I chose to pray more.

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You Are Not God!

are you God

A while back I posted about how We Need to be Better Than the Westboro Baptist Church, just click on it to read the post.

Well someone commented on the post…

condem catholics



I didn’t approve of the post to be published simply because I’m not going to have a “I hate Catholic” blog being linked to my page. I’m not for condemning someone just because their faith is different from mine, so I won’t take it from others either.

Instead of going on about his bad grammar, I will just talk about the fact that this individual obviously condemns me for being Catholic.

I have been real disappointed with those within the Christian faith this past year. Between The Pharisee that was on campus to the multiple comments I have received in online forums as a result of my Catholic faith, I’m tired of it.

I don’t know why, but for some reason there seems to be a lot of hate from other Christians against Catholics. Which I find ironic since the whole Christian faith kind of evolved from Catholicism aka the Reformation. What I find more puzzling is when Christians hate those that are Jewish.

confused black girl

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If I Was a Saint….

me with halo


Being Catholic the idea and the concept of sainthood is talked about a great deal. For those that have no idea about Saints we don’t treat them like gods. We just pray to them.

That may be confusing, but let me explain. This is how I have understood it.

You ask family and friends to pray for you or to keep you (or someone you know) in their thoughts.  Well Saints are just those that the Church are 100% sure made it to Heaven (thanks to the miracles and thanks to God). When we are praying to the Saints we are asking them to keep us in their thoughts and prays and pray to God for us (they have all the time after all). They in turn pray for us, when we are busy with our human lives (not an excuse not to pray, but they can give us a helping hand).

Each Saint is a “patron,” a supporter of a cause, country, etc. Joan of Arc for example is the Patron Saint of France, soldiers, prisoners, military captives, women who serve in the military, etc. When I went through Confirmation she was the Saint I chose, I have always been fond of her. A strong young women leading an army of men, with no education or military experience ( in the 1400s). To me, she is badass.

For me I felt like it helps the individual to begin making a connection with their brother/sister in heaven they never met. It helps people to have someone to relate to and pray to, especially since that saint (having already gone through that ) knows what that person is going through.

Which is why I believe Saints are very important.

With being Catholic the idea of one of us becoming a Saint does cross our mind. I won’t lie to you, it has crossed mine.

Over the years I have wondered what I would be the Patron Saint of if I was a Saint.

I have realized I would probably be the Patron Saint of a lot of Things…

  • Sufferers of Chronic Depression. I live with Depression and I am currently on medication.
  • Sufferers of Chronic Anxiety. I also with live with this.
  • Siblings of those with Autism and Children with Autism. My brother has Autism and I would want to help give strength both to those that are siblings and those who actually have it.
  • Those who Fear Failure. I fear failure and I want to help others.
  • Victims of Dating Violence. Whether emotional, sexual, or physical I want to help listen to that person, having been there myself.
  • Knee Issues. I have tendinitis in both of my knees, so I know the pain.
  • Sufferers of Black Mold. Having lived with black mold and how it has affected my health, I want to be there for others.
  • Self- Esteem Issues. Yes, I have this issue and I want to be there for others who have this issue.
  • Writers, Bloggers, and Authors. Whether they are published or dreaming of publishing, I would want to be there to support them.

Yeah, I know it is a long list, but hey I have been through a lot and I haven’t even listed everything either. I have only listed stuff I am ready to talk about.

What would you be the Patron Saint of? Let me know in the comments below!

Inspired by The Daily Post

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I Forgive, But I Never Forget


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I will be honest with you, when you have hurt me in a major way, I will never forget it. Ever.

I will write about it, think over the situation and over-analyze it to the umpteenth degree. It will haunt my thoughts, inspire my paintings, blog posts, anything that I create. I would be a liar if I didn’t say otherwise.

Thanks to all of my experiences, the pain, the abuse, etc. I have learned a great deal. It has come in handy with my writing, especially when it comes to writing novels.




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I have debated with myself numerous times as to how to approach the topic of how much letting my life influence my writing. I have come to the conclusion, I will let my writing being influenced.

I do however have an exception…

If I was to have an autobiography or biography published. It will have to be published after my death. I plan on living a long time and hopefully the people that have harmed me when I was young will have passed on. You see I know people change, I also know that people don’t. Therefore I don’t want to ruin their life if they are still living and still want to have a good life (even though I know some of the individuals are repeating the same mistakes over and over again).  No, I will let God and eternity be their judgement.

Does this sound nice? No, it doesn’t and I know it doesn’t. To me though this is a comfort and I need to write about what I have been through. Frankly not everyone knows the truth to many things that have happened early in my life. At the same time though,  I won’t go out and publish it simply because it is not the time and I don’t want to ruin peoples lives.

The only thing I want to do is tell the truth. What I have been through, what I have experienced, and who helped me through the experience and who caused me harm.

I may be Catholic, but I am no Saint.

What are your thoughts on publishing what has happened to you in you life? let me know in the comments below!
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We Need to Be Better than the Westboro Baptist Church


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Once more the Westboro Baptist Church have made news. This time they were protesting in Moore, OK were March of last year a tornado ripped through the area, including a school were there were many students victims and once more students attend this very school. It is not the first time that the Westboro Baptist Church has come to the community of Moore, OK to protest.

Outside of the school in the designated area they picketed. The community of Moore heard about this and came out in counter protest. While I am all for a counter protest, having been to one myself, I am against violent/aggressive confrontations. Unfortunately things got a little heated at the counter protest.

The above video by A7Vegas on youtube.

I know that since I have personally not lost anyone and had the Westboro Baptist Church people will immediately leave comments saying




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You are right. I don’t fully understand. I can imagine. I can think of different scenarios, but I have not experienced pain/loss/tragedy and than have the Westboro Baptist Church show up on my doorstep telling me that the death of a loved one is being rejoiced by God. You are right. I don’t know.

But just because I can never fully understand/comprehend doesn’t mean I can’t recognize the fact that we should stoop down to their level, or stoop lower than the Westboro Baptist Church. We need to be better than them.

Going after them, trying to intimidate them. That is what they want. That is what they are expecting to get out of us.

I won’t lie, the more side of me that enjoys the idea of revenge got a little satisfaction when I saw the Westboro Baptist Church running away like river rats. As soon as I felt that way though, I immediately felt guilt. Even if they are the worst kind of people out there, they are still people. We, as people, shouldn’t act that way towards them. No matter how horrible they have been to us.

Quick question to those that live in Moore, Oklahoma and I would love this question to be answered. Is it true that a liquor store did a sale and or discount in celebration of Fred Phelps death?

While smart business and funny. At the same time though it is nice to celebrate anyones death, even if that person is Fred Phelps.

What are your thoughts on this? Let me know in the comments below!


What the Westboro Baptist Church Taught Me

filled with hate I  don’t remember when I first heard of the Westboro Baptist Church, but I do remember my reaction. I was angry. I wanted to get in their faces and I wanted to yell at them, “Who did they think they were? God himself??!!” Now, many years later since I first heard of the Westboro Baptist Church my feelings have somewhat changed. With Fred Phelps recent death I can’t help but think of the Westboro Baptist Church and its legacy of hate filled mantras, colorful signs filled with nonsense as they picket at funerals- hurting the families and friends of the deceased. After seeing their actions they have taught me something. Thou Shall Not Hate. Of course that seems really obvious, but think about it. Is there someone you don’t like? Is there someone who treated you in an awful manner that even the thought of them brings hatred out in you? Exactly. Hate is an easy emotion to succumb to and a hard emotion to conquer. I remember when there was word that they were going to picket a soldiers funeral about a year or 2 ago. . A facebook event was soon made and I knew I had to go. I didn’t care if I missed class or not, for me this was important.  I soon made a sign and I realized and knew that if I spouted any words of hate I would be just as much of an hypocrite as Fred Phelps and his whole community.


My Sign at the Counter Protest

I decided to put these words on the sign because this can apply to everyone. Those that have just lost loved ones. Those that are at the counter protests and any of the Westboro Baptist members. I went to the counter protest and we got there real early, early enough to attend another persons funeral. Many people had american flags, gay pride flags, signs that said Peace and Love. I loved seeing bible verses, verses from the Torah and the Koran. There were quotes from Buddha also. It was wonderful to see a diverse group of people come together to show their support to a grieving family. There were also (of course) people with their signs saying that the Westboro Baptists should go to Hell (which it is understandable, but still it’s not right), and others that treated this whole thing as a joke. These people even though it was good (somewhat) that they were there, they obviously didn’t understand the full purpose of this counter protest. While waiting we the counter protesters were invited by the family who was threatened to be protest invited us closer to the funeral home. I of course was all for it. Holding my sign for the family and friends. They were the ones who were suffering, they needed comfort. The focus shouldn’t be about countering hate with hate, but giving love to those who are being hated on and yes be loving to those filled with hate. I remember at one point while facing the street away from the funeral home that a group of people in a car actually flipped me off and told me to go to hell. I was shocked and I still think they were either supporters of the Westboro’s or they were “scouts” trying to see whether or not it would be worth to come out and protest the funeral. Either way I have learned within my heart that the only way to counteract hate is with love. It is really easy to give in to the emotion of hate, but that is not the answer. They taught me to love and how to love, even in the face of hatred itself. Thank you Westboro Baptist Church,  you taught me how not to act. You taught me that hatred is wrong. You taught me why compassion is important. the most important lesson you taught me  is how to love you and love all those filled with hate. It is not an easy task, it never is, but I will do my best. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Why I am Not Rejoicing Over Fred Phelps Death


When I checked my twitter account and saw the news the Fred Phelps died today. I didn’t feel joy nor did I feel sadness. I felt- apathetic.

I have seen many people in one extreme or the other. Laughing it up that Fred Phelps will no doubt have a rude awakening when he discovers he is in hell. While others are more forgiving, hoping the man realized in his last moments on earth that he was wrong and or that God would have mercy on this hateful man.

Me, I don’t care what happens to him either way. I am just glad that one less presence of hatred exists in this world.

Even though I can’t laugh at him, I also have a hard time for feeling bad for him. I do feel bad for him, slightly. Only slightly though.

Here is my reasoning…

That man had been filled with hate for so long, he felt the need to spread that hate and use religion as an excuse for that hate.  Hate is the absence of Love and obviously this man was not filled with love and he did not feel loved by others (even way before he spread his message of hate- hate like this doesn’t take a day to build up, it takes years of holding it in and resentment). While that is no excuse for his actions, it does bring an emotion of pity. It is such a pity that whatever happened or didn’t happen to him caused him to have so much hatred in his heart that he had to spread it to the rest of the world.

Whether he was taught to hate or he learned to hate others over time, I couldn’t tell you. I don’t know his life. I haven’t read about his life and I don’t really care to do that.

As a result I don’t think we should picket his funeral. Yes I know he instructed and inspired others to picket funerals whether they were soliders, children, etc who had died. I don’t think we should go picket (even though the immature part of me really wants to). I think we all should just leave the man and his sad, small community alone. For it is a community filled with hate and that is something to be pitied.

Should we defend ourselves against hatred? Yes! Should we stand up for ourselves and others for when their hatred is causing harm? Of course! Should we go and antagonize people that are in mourning? No, for we will be stooping down to their level and we all should act be better than that.

Let us not rejoice over this death. Let us just acknowledge it and move on.