It has been quite a while since I have posted on this blog and not because I haven’t had the desire to. Back in February, I began to notice I was beginning to struggle with reading and writing. Before this, I was already experiencing constant exhaustion, to the point that if I wasn’t doing homework, I was usually sleeping. It started out in Spring 2014, when I started taking more naps than usual, but I attributed that to the stress of college life and being an older-than-traditional college student. I had a memory loss issue where I couldn’t remember who I was or where I was; that was fun. At my job I was having trouble focusing on the work, despite it being extremely simplistic (just putting labels on books); I kept switching up book labels and many times I forgot if I labeled the book at all. I tried to get better.
In the fall of 2015 a lot of stuff happened. Boyfriend lost his job, another relative came to live with us (very, very stressful since she is in her 90s), plumbing issues in the house from the toilet to the kitchen, a car accident happened, grandma went to the hospital (but she seems to always be going there), I lost my job in October because I kept making mistakes by switching up the labels. There is more, but I honestly can’t remember the details. I kept working hard in school, but I was tired a lot and was constantly taking naps. I honestly thought this was because I was dealing with a lot of stress and was feeling pretty depressed.
Finally in the Spring of 2015, my boyfriend was becoming very concerned that I was sleeping a lot. My parents thought I was maybe depressed, but to be honest, even I suspected something was up once my boyfriend mentioned his concern. At this point I was just doing homework and sleeping. I had a really hard time doing anything else. Around this time, I sadly lost someone who I had considered a really good friend. I had brought up some concerns I had and that individual became very angry and lashed out at me. I was extremely hurt emotionally and between being tired all the time, having a hard time reading and writing, and just generally living, I didn’t get back in touch, but my boyfriend did for me. Once I had the energy, that individual was pissed that I didn’t get back in touch right away and said our friendship was over because I didn’t care. That whole story is complicated, but even now I look back at that time with sadness, no regrets, just sadness. I digress though…. It was actually watching the RHOBH reunion episode with Yolanda Foster when I began to suspect that I had lyme disease. She stated that she had trouble reading and writing. I really connected to that, but not wanting to be like the billions of people that self-diagnose using the powers of the internet, I made an appointment to go see the Doctor and I had my father with me, at this point I didn’t trust my memory at all. I told my father before we went about my difficulty reading and writing, and how I was frustrated at how I’d been continually sick for the past 5-6 years. He was very helpful during the appointment.
Finally at the end of March or beginning of April of 2015 ( I can’t remember), I went to see the Doctor and a few days later in a voicemail my doctor told me that I have Lyme disease. Part of me was relieved that there was a rational explanation for what was going on and the other part of me felt this weight of dread. Soon after I withdrew from college all together, there was no way I could finish the semester since I was struggling to read and write.
I still can’t tell you when I would have received the bacteria causing this disease, for I am positive about not seeing a rash. As someone who has been dealing with constant medical issues for the past 6 years, grew up in a family with someone in the medical field, and a few more in the extended family, and those in my immediate family have faced their fair share of medical issues. Adding all of this together, I have always been aware of the importance of health, and would have noticed some part of my health being out of sorts; I would have remembered a weird-ass looking rash on my body.
I could have received it as early as 6 years ago or as late as 1-2 years ago.
Symptoms and Things I Deal with on a Daily Basis (even though I’m no longer on antibiotics and the Doctor says it should be gone):
- Brain Fog- as a result I have trouble reading and writing
- Joints ache-knees, elbows, knuckles, toe knuckles,etc.
- Muscles ache-neck, back, arms, legs, etc.
- Constant Migraines-mostly around the eyes and forehead area, other times all encompassing.
- Ringing in my Ears
- Muscle Spasms
- Shooting Pain in my Eyes
- Nausea for no reason
- Blurry Vision
- Weakness in limbs
- shooting pain through my body
- Heart palpitations
- Hard time trying to find the right words
- Hard time talking
- Hard time focusing on whats going on
- Random muscle cramps for no reason
- Bright lights and noise bother me now more than ever
- I’m either taking 4-5 naps a day, or sleeping for about 10-12 hours
- or I have difficulty sleeping and going to sleep (usually from all the pain im in)
- Walking only down the hallway in my house, i immediately become exhausted
- Don’t get me started on stairs
- Showers are a nightmare because they exhaust me. I’m incapable of doing stuff for hours afterwords
- I go from burning up and sweating, to freezing and shivering
- I know there is more but I honestly can’t remember
A year ago writing a post of this length would have been easy and done within a day, two months ago it would have been near impossible, and now it is taking me 2 days to finish it and I know I am pushing myself because my hands and arms are shaking as a result of me trying to focus and type this up at the same time. As it is, from now on till God knows when, my boyfriend will be helping me with editing the posts. I may try to post youtube videos as well, but that is very hard for me to do as I already posted a video and trying to edit that video tired me out for the rest of the week.
I’m not posting this for pity or sympathy. I am writing this because people need to be aware of this disease. There is so much about this disease that is unknown, so much speculation, and it is not always taken seriously within the medical community. I am in my mid 20s, and still want to graduate college, and have a career while writing books and running this blog. Now I am using all the energy I have to talk about this and try to do the things I used to. Writing has become easier, reading and comprehending though is still a challenge (hence why my boyfriend will now help me edit all posts). Graphic Novels are easier to handle than other books, I noticed that the more visuals there are, the easier it is.
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